Diary.... aka An Alien stranded on another Planet...

Rather lose love than to move on Never knowing what it feel like
Short days, long nights By the phone, no call
Need a clear mind 'cause I been blind Got me goin' down that road
Heart made of stone Far away from home

lost on a Planet[ definition of Planet- a state of emotion for those who consider themselves to be aliens] where no one understands me or could understand my pain... a place where the problems or questions asked are answered by me... but when it comes to answering my own questions im lost... like the city of Atlantis... like ships and airplanes that travel through the Bermuda triangle... i mean there are theories/answers to the problems i go through as there are for these mysterious vanishings but non are concrete nor offer a TRUTH... .
I blog about my personal life with a shield around it because if i let you into my life whole heart-ly then you would experience my depressions and in turn be need more help than ever....
i havent blogged in a while because i was actually not feeling desolate and feeling good about myself.. .i mean im losing weight... alot of ppl who i truly love graduated from college... i live in a beautiful condo... and for the most part of the month i thought that " sacred path " was going in a positive direction.... but thats not the case...
the best way to explain my feelings are through outlets that keep me sane and help this facade stay intact MUSIC.... and basketball but bcus of this weather and my ongoing issue that compels me...[ i have the tendency to stop going as hard or i temporarily give up on my goals when i see progress or feel as tho' something good is finally occurring ] i havent gone to the courts to work on my game and defuse bcus of being lazy... plain and simple.....
right now Diary by Wale feat. the babe from Floetry is a memoir to my life.... in the song Wale is talking to a female... in this Aliens life... im talking to myself but not just myself.. .my Soul.. .the inner person in me that knows i deserve the best but settles for whatever... its bad when you would rather look forward to going to sleep and dreaming about ya inner being/created better self bcus of the life and endless possibilities it has.... well thats me everyday.. .things i wish i couldve done or had the chance to do... i actually do... but in my dreams... and dreams only... i love my life but the life i imagine and dream .. the life where these problems i face and issues that arise are answered with smirks and devious smiles.... but then i wake up and look in the mirror and face reality.... another song that plays in the background in the movie of my life ... is Drake Fall for your type.... its a very short and simple group of words that say so much... and once again not a particular female but to myself...
its hard to deal with sometimes and venting via blogspot is helpful along with music and bball but thats not always the case.... going to the PlanetOfFitness helps alot but these temp satisfactions only induce my pain and suffering ....
to help you understand better i feel like Jennifer Connelly as Janine Gaunders as well as Kevin Connolly also known as Connor Barry in " He's just not that into you! "... if u havent seen that movie then you wouldnt understand.. if u have then their roles are reciprocated in my life... rough times.... but as usual i will get through it....
On a brighter note... Pretty gyrls remix.. .with Cbreezy, fabo, and WALE... is the SHTI... and they all go in.....
This world isnt for me... honestly but until i go through my complete metamorphosis change im a prisoner trapped in a world of drones....
My bestfriend is the Moon.... my role model is a celebrity.... and my so-called brother is a NBA superstar who may have just tanked.. and the image i portray is sometimes confused with the make believe person i wish I was.... but guess what my bestfriend helps me to SHINE everynight... .right before i become a translucent depiction of a DREAM....
first memoir of my DIARY......

AUT VIAM INVENIAM AUT FACIAM'

tHe title says alot as well as means alot to me.... i mean sooo much has occurred in my life.... anything and everything from work to looking for a new job.. .to beating this depression to music.. to my relationship to me losing weight... to getting my life back on track and finally realizing that I shouldnt settle for just anything... my expectations for everything I aspire for should be as high as my Personification of myself... A STARR....
with that being said.... i find myself losing the faith and giving up on my immediate goals. and aspirations due to something or SOMEONE!!! and it really shouldnt be like that... I mean i think that im a great person and i have alot to offer... with that being said [ i re-iterate everything.... alot ] i thought that i let myself go and slowly placed myself into a pool of quicksand but ive come to realize that i actually have been doing good for myself and stuff is working out in my favor.... i need to pray more and ask for forgiveness from the lord.. and repent... but because of my promise to become a better follower and servant he has blessed me and i realized that if i actually put all my techniques and ninja skills [ lmao ] together i can really make some progression.... and i think its about that time to actually try and put these skills together.... i mean im losing weight because of my dedication to being a Martian.... BUT IT COULD BE BETTER.. if i get back on my strict and i mean STRICT diet then that would boost me to the forefronts like Speed RACER.... and if these things come together then my level of splASH will grow..... alot of opportunities have come my way and i am grateful for these things...
I know that God along with my Holy spirit helps me to get through all the rough times in my life... and i will be fine.... just need a really good kick in the ass....
Finally i realized the truth about this thing called life and that sometimes having someone to see all the wonderful and beautiful things in the world together is COMPLETE BLISS... im talking what ppl dream of... but truthfully how can one find true happy-ness and experience the finer things in life if they never found themselves.... i once heard someone say are u living or existing???? im existing .... going through life doing and caring for everyone else... and this starr has lost his glow... WELL lets just say that " Im in the pursuit of Happy-ness and I know... everything that shines aint always gonna be GOLD... yeah... accept for this STARR...... damn living or existing.... I ve died and was reborn again.... Sorry Gary Baker... you will be missed... WELCOME Gary F. Baker aka Either I will find a way or Make one ... himself....
Really didnt know how much you meant to me until that one night when u were full and at your brightest and you shined upon me and helped me to get my GLOW back.... thanks Moon for bringing this STARR out of the ashes of obscurity

Legs like a Prize fighting Bull named Ferdinan

Success can only start through ONE entity!!! Not Money Power Fear or Respect but God...

What can I say.... I once again let myself go and gave in to all the temptations, i mean i just can find the need or the want to keep going on... I mean I have eaten foods that arent good for me[ thankfully they make me feel sick so thats a good sign ]... stopped the 30x3 diet temporarily ... and temporarily diverted to my old self where I felt bad for myself and would slip in and out of a depression.... I wish i had a quick fix that could solve my problems so that I could live my life the way it was intended through God to be lived....
I wish I had a second chance at making the best out of all my decisions... although it has made me a stronger person and wiser person this learning experience could have been avoided....
Luckily for me I still go to the gym and go hard ... I am as strong as an OX on steroids and my body is starting to do things that I couldnt do before... My basketball skills are starting to come back the way they were in 10th grade... and my clothes fit me better.... Now all I have to do is devote myself to staying on the right path and I will be straight.... This sunday I will definately go to church... and through God make this Realistic covenant....
Hey Moon???? I need you and hope that you can help me shine the way I need to ....

A new more CONCRETE Covenant "through" GOD!

i came to the realization that i can do alot of things by myself/on my own but if God isnt involved completely, then begging him for help and wondering when its gonna pay off is irrelevant. with that being said the " covenant " that i was on i stayed strong with and realized alot of things including peoples perception of me and what they think of me and how strong willed i can be in regards to making sacrifices and sticking to them, but i failed bcus of a few reasons.... temptation at the end of the covenant, and the lack of guidance.... i made this covenant on my own to prove ppl wrong and to myself to show that i am capable of doing things that ppl thought i couldnt... but the whole time i asked and begged and looked to God for help but until recently realized that i didnt start off the correct way... on my own i did good..... "but good is not enough" with God and through the correct outlets [ prayer, church, asking for help, and a commitment ] i couldve did great...
so now the old covenant that i did so good on... is null and void... but this new COVENANT made out of concrete and God's supervision will be GREAT.... and i will actually surpass my goals...
this new covenant will be made Sunday April 11th at Church whether outside of Hup or inside [ hopefully and i strongly want it to be outside ] and it will be made through God and with his supervision....

My goal.
Lose ___ lbs. so that I can be at the weight of 3__ by July 11th... this goal may seem astronomical or un-reachable but honestly all i can do is my part physically and not be a PhAT AZZ and leave the Spiritual stuff up to the man upstairs.... I know one thing... im really gonna try and reach this goal... before i go for my selective surgery.... [ hearing ya girlfriend.. the woman you want to spend the rest of ya life with... talk about other mens bodies....[ although celebrities but thats not the point] can hurt a man especially when it has been verbally said that she wishes that her boyfriend had a better body]... and not only do i want to do it for my relationship but for MYSELF the most... i want to be able to shop at H&m and buy True Religion jeans... { i know rediculous aspirations} but they mean alot to me bcus its something that i want...
So Hopefully everything will fall into place and work out for me... Sunday will be the beginning of the Re-construction of Gary Baker.... Mind body and soul....
Hey Moon, where you been????? the sun is trying to take all your shine... luckily for me Im a candle ...and I only can glow when your out....

Progression So far...

My leg workout so far has done wonders....

Finding the Strength to go on.... when you're in a Constant Sht@-hole of Problems...

So Ive been going hard for a while getting myself together and making sure that I put myself and health in the winning lane for this selective surgery that I will be getting this summer. Inspiration has not only come from negativity from people at work or friends about why I'm making personal sacrifices and going through with it for so long [ May 1st ] and I have also received some from my yungin' who has become an Alien... Ricky Fontaine... he goes hard everyday he's there and he's like a sponge and just wants to enhance himself to become a better person and has asked me to guide him to his GOAL... and for him to look to me for help has made me realize alot about myself....
At first I was all about a once in a while treat to myself... but as of recently when it seemed as tho' all things were going down hill for me ... like a tank going down a mountain covered in snow... and with that I have been eating foods that i told myself I wouldn't eat anymore... well I have... and for the last 4 days my calorie intake was probably well more than likely below 1200 for the entire day but its just the fact that I slowed down on the meat and veggies.... well through GOD and prayer this Sunday... the 4th of April I will be back in full effect and ready to continue my path of losing weight and getting myself ready for this summer.... As the days get warmer... and the sun stays out longer I look forward to seeing my buddy the MOON more and more... it's been a while so once we meet up again... Bring me out Like DJ E-Star at a Ruckers game...

" Pressing through your See Nothing Days "

Sooooo I got this Quote from Church ... it was the main topic that the Pastor spoke on today... He refers to everyday situations like working out or trying to make a change in your life and getting ready to give up because you dont see Progress.

I took it as a quote that I learned before " pushing through your comfort zone "
Throughout this time period I have been going through these up and down phases where I lose faith or hope in my sacrifices or decisions I have made because I didnt see the progress that was being made as well as not listening to the Critical words that I told myself and others " You are your OWN biggest Critic " At times I think to myself I wanna give up or is anything is going to come out of this process because I dont feel as tho' I'm changing...
What helps me to get by is simple inspiration ... Heroes, the want to be different and finding myself...
The best thing about this diet is the fact that it has changed my life. My 30-30-30 diet is helping me to learn how to eat better as well as get rid of all the fatty foods and Unhealthy foods that used to be in my everyday diet.... The only problem that I have to restrain from is eating before I go to an EVENT... bcus the food there can be tempting but I have to stay strong... Recently I failed with that experience but it has helped me for the future bcus right after I ate some of those foods that I didnt ear for months my stomach and chest felt funny ... one of those " I told ya dumb azz no to eat this " feelings.... it wasnt nothing crazy and it was moderate but it wasnt apart of my diet...
All in all my progress has been good not great but that will change especially on APRIL 1st... because thats the day when I go HARD.... im talking Rocky status when he trained against the RUSSIAN DUDE..... so I will update you on my progress and May 1st is the day that I have been waiting for .....

I Stopped being the VICTIM and became the Victor!

All through my life I proclaimed myself to be a VICTIM of bad luck.. society[making all the best clothes for skinny people]... Genetics.. Athletics... Social Atmospheres... and finally Financially.
I always thought that if God made me this way or that way or in the form that I often Dream I could be then I would live a lifestyle that ppl would envy and wish they had... Im talking Athletic skills of Lebron... the Genetics of a model.. Socially inept to handle anything... including getting any girl I wanted from the opposite sex... but because Im completely the opposite and most well pretty much everything I just mentioned went to my younger Brother Chris.. I felt as though I was given the short end of the stick and I was owed.... I mean I lived in a fantasy world for the longest... at least 10 years of my life, to which I had an alter ego who I looked forward to dreaming about every night because I wasnt appreciative of my life... especially because Im the one who molded it to become this way... Every thing that I am Now is because I made it this way... the good and the BAD...
This led to my depressions... why I dont know but I was depressed.. I mean if I was skinny I would be more attractive to my girlfriend or I could actually buy clothes in a store rather than order them on BIG AND TALL websites... or I could feel comfortable with my looks instead of thinking of myself as an Unattractive Leper.
These thoughts have plagued me for a very long time .... and Im not gonna say that I dont still think of these as facts nor do I consider myself far from these truths but through God I have learned to I guess fight them to the point where now the Alter Ego is what I am striving to become rather than NEVER WILL BE ....

So this revelation came to me while in Church listening to the Pastor talk about God's program and way of being the BIGGEST LOSER" ... it helped me out alot and Now I am a better person.... I dont consider myself to be a Victim anymore... but at times I feel like Jennifer Lopez in Enough.... Like Tina Turner in whats love got to do with it ... like Chris in The family that Preys... but the difference with me is that I can build up a wall and say Idongivaphuk" and be ok...

What led me to dealing with the possibility of becoming a Victim of something I know Im not was today when I listened to Kanye West song..."Everything Iam" that put it all into perspective for me.....
With that being said... The Moon is my best friend because only He knows How to bring this STARR out !!!

The Temptation to Cheat....

Its been rough these past couple weeks when it comes to staying on track and making sure that I follow this regiment to the fullest... especially because I feel as tho' something great is gonna come from this... My eating habits have changed alot and its easier for me to pace myself and eat the correct foods NOW that I have learned the right way to eat and how to eat... and Portions to which I thought was gonna kill me... My meals are great.. especially the greatest invention ever... the veggies in a bag aka Steamers....but!!! the temptation lies or comes into play when I get self doubt or when something happens that puts me in a mood known as the " Idongivaphuk " I mean I feel as if I shouldnt be places [ work ] ... and dont wanna deal with anyone including everyone especially my GF.
The arguments and the Bullshat that I go through in my personal life as well as the Ignorant people I deal with at work.. and Im not talking patients Im talking my staff these Nurses[ Grey ] and Doctors... all of this pushes me towards the edge of Idongivaphuk ville... and all the temptations of this place including GIVING UP on my Ultimate goal... I mean I used to be like as soon as I get paid Ima get Pizza, a Jims cheese steak, some WAWA roast beef, and Ching... and everyone knows that they my people... but Nowadays even when I can get all of these things that used to suppress my pain and anger and feelings I think about the bigger picture ... and thats me being an even bigger FAT AZZ... and thats what I cant live with because a day may come where Im single and I need to be the best I can be to deal with being alone... bcus thats my 1 fear in life... being alone with someone to depend on in more ways than 1...
The one positive thing that helps me get by each day is Music... as cliche as that may sound It really relates to me on more ways than the average person
If I feel shaky with my relationship I listen to Bobby V.-I might not be... If Im in the mood to spoil my GF. I'll sing B.O.B.-Nothing on You .. If I wanna get hype or be in the Mood.. Blaqstarr and K swift... and If I need to get SPLASHY[ ps this term is copyrighted ] I listen to anything Drake has to say.... But on those days when I feel like giving up and quitting and cheating with Temptation I listen to Chris Brown.- I'll go... and Kid Cudi.- Soundtrack to my Life...
These may help you if u need a picker upper but besides that we should all be on the PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS I know I am ... so the Temptation didnt beat me or get the upper hand but it hit me hard.... Thank God ...literally for a strong will and His graces... besides that You know what time it is...

Hey Moon thanks for shining so brightly when I leave Whitney... U bring this Starr out like Pac-man did the celebs tonight

Trials and Tribulations.... of a Starr

So that Sunday when I started this New Diet and ultimately a NEW way of life I didnt know that it was gonna be that difficult.... At first Im thinking to myself " If I give up all my fetishes as far as foods[chinese,fried,take-out] then I would be able to drop the weight that I want and meet my goal May 1st... well Im not gonna say that I have given up ... because I am gonna go as hard as possible to reach that GOAL... call me Rhinaldino ... its just hard to think about what I have to actually do and the things that I am sacrificing hopefully helps me to become a better person and maintain this lifestyle....
I have given up on all CaRBS until the first of May..... and that may seem easy but its not... Im talking no pasta ... spaghetti.... rice... bread... NOTHING... the difficult part comes in when I want a sandwich or some whole wheat pasta to go with my protein and veggies... but this is what I have to do for sooooo many years of being a FAT AZZ.
The whole Meat and Veggies thing has its ups and downs... I mean I cook all my food in portions and its delicious and I could never fathom the thought of not having a STARCH with my food but its not difficult.... The best food that I have had was this fillet of Salmon that I made with Asian Medley veggies... talk about being a Fat AZZ... it was a small portion but it was so fulfilling that I was full.... I also thought that gettin back on to this 30-30-30 diet would be hard to transition to but its working out well... Sooo I guess the trials and tribulations that are currently in my life come from issues that dont deal with my weight... STUDENT LOANS... BILLS... AND MY DAMN CAR... all of these issues have led me to questioning myself to figure out if the path that I chose was worth it... I mean I could be making $$$$$ right now if I didnt go to College... the only bad part is I would've never met TAY... THE FAB 5... and other ppl that I consider to be close to me... In my old days before I found God again.. and before I made my secret Covenant[ka-na-vent] with myself I would let this drive me into depression... im talking eating my problems away along with mood swings and ISOLATION....
But as My God helps me to see.... Theres no Gain without Pain... I will be ok...
Ps Going back to my home ... on the Planet of Fitness.. is relaxing and worthwhile... I feel stronger every time I go and its showing results faster than before... I mean instead of Gatorade or Water or even Powerade.. I had a V8 ...

As the Nights come later and the weather feels better the one Apparatus that can Bring me out better than Michael Buffer at a Pacquiao vs. Mayweather fight is my Right hand man the MOON...

Fighting for a Cause....

As stated before and throughout my Blogs... my inspiration to become a Healthier person and the way I envision myself and feel as tho' Im capable of becoming is from Certain Movies... Songs...Celebs and My gf... well it shouldnt be surprising that my Latest Inspiration to become better at Basketball has come from the Best Player in the Nba...His swagg and His demeanor is Out of this World.... and believe it or not I used to have that... the whole handshake thing... Me along with 2 members of the Fab 5 made up our Patent Handshake in 2005... and everytime we are around each other we do it ... Unconsciously... but Im not saying Im upset Im just saying that his swagg and demeanor and character was a reflection of mine when I was at the top of My life.... Now I have hit ROCK BOTTOM.... Credit...Student Loans... Life... Weight Issues... Depression[well not anymore... but knock on wood]along with being in a very difficult relationship at times... has brought me to this point in my life... Being my own therapist and getting reactions from those of you who actually read this blog .
My most recent random action of Inspiration [RAI] has come from my gf expressing her true feelings about me and how she feels about me Physically..
I expected the answers I got and at first wanted to get upset and re-act but realized that I knew the TRUTH from day 1.... so this didnt come as a Surprise to me. I guess I took that as a [RAI] because I realized that nothing and I mean Nothing is certain in life... I was told that you can " BE IN LOVE" with someone but not "LOVE" that person... and because of that I need to get myself back to the Top so that if things go sour to which I hope and pray they dont.... I can be at a point in my life where Im not judged by Shallow Ppl and I wont be writing every other day on this blog.... [ps the more positive side of FAABSTARR is www.faabstarrsneakahead.blogspot.com]
Well the Fight begins.... I have started a new diet as of 3/07/10...
I no longer eat
Bread- all breads including wheat but excluding multi grain
Pasta all of kinds
Rice- excluding Brown Rice but thats only once a week...
Candy- ALL
SODA- except Diet
Juices- except Cranberry and Diet
I will be on a Protein[FISH,CHICKEN,TURKEY]and Veggie diet Until May 1st
Wish me Luck... matter fact dont wish me luck.. tell me I wont do it so that I can exceed all expectations...

Dear Moon although its Winter and I haven't seen you in a while... kinda like I moved to a Planet with 3 suns... but no matter what YOU BRING ME OUT... Like Drake at a Young Money Concert... thanks

The Challenge.....

I plan on LOSING 50lbs. by May 1st. 2010..
The RULES....

Get back on my 30-30-30 DIET...
NO FAST FOODS... Homemade or Ordered
Get back in the Gym at LEAST 3x a week...
Basketball AMAP [ As much as Possible ]
and when I feel as though I wanna give up or give in
to this Disease watch Lebron footage or Rocky 1-5...

There will be pics at the end of this challenge showing you my progression through the months but they wont be put up until the end of the Competition...
I am 6 5lb weights + 2 10lbs.+ 2 25lbs. + 2 35lbs. +3 40lbs. + 2 45lbs.... and thats not good at all ... Its phukin horrible.. but LW as Nadege would say I will be where I want to be and a Perfect candidate for this Selective Surgery... Please Pray for me and if you are truly a friend of mine Help me rather than chastise me ...

The Rollercoaster Effect....

I really dont know what its called or how to identify what happens with out telling you the best way I can and that's by Keeping it real. I thought after the last post I was gonna be set and start to fight for what I wanted like I previously was doing... with this urge and need to fight was motivation that was brought on by my significant other... well its been a while since she gave me the motivation well extra motivation to go back to The Planet of Fitness and re-new my residency.. I mean I might get evicted for not being there the way I should be. My eating habits have turned for the worst in a sense of quantity and quality... I was a cheerios and wheat wrap guy for a while and I went back to Bacon and Eggs sandwiches and CHINESE FOOD!!!! I dont know what it is but that is my Achilles Heel/Cryptonite and I cant fathom not having it in my life...[ real fat ass... I know I need help bcus this is badd.. real badd Halle Berry] Personal family issues have led me to becoming upset and temperamental to the point where I can see me saying " Phuk this and going back to my old ways... ] but the thing that honestly keeps me from going back to those ways believe it or not is BASKETBALL and Lebron... The things I can do with basketball now as a fat-ass and The way the King gives his all for something that we both share the same passion for keeps me going... I know I will never ever make it to the Nba and that was never a realistic dream of mine.. but to be the best player I can be with my friends, brothers, leagues, and leisure time makes me yearn to become better... along with inspiration from Lebron saying DONT BE ME BE BETTER THAN ME !! all of this has led me to re-evaluate myself and figure out what the hell am i gonna do with my life... this weight... and my health... well Lent has come around and I was suppose to give up FAST FOOD... CHINESE FOOD.. AND BEING LAZY.. well I lost all 3 the second day in... Now Im hoping that God gives me another chance to rectify my wrongs and accomplish my goals and tasks at hand...
With that being said as of 8am. February 20th 2010 I will give up all those flaws for Lent as well as make a covenant to myself that If completed will re-assure my will in myself, GOD, and my Soul that I CAN BEAT THIS DISEASE known as Obesity....
So the next blog will let you know the details and if you so choose to read this then you can always help me to become what I need to be if we are truly friends... and if not well here is some good reading.....
PS Damn I just want my friend back.... bcus of the snow.. I havent gotten to see the Moon who always brings this STARR out... but I will rendezvous very soon... F23starr

My Ongoing Inspiration !!!

The Drought!!!!

Its been a while since Ive spoke of my habits... workouts.. and life changing experiences...& Its also been a while since I have been on my game .. and taking care of business.... Losing weight is the hardest thing in the world.... I wish I had to gain weight... that would take me a month and I would be set... but losing this curse that I have to bare... this Diseases... this sickness.. this gut-wrenching.... ailment that has led to negative thoughts about myself... depression... and a lack there of... has been the hardest thing to do... So how am I still losing weight???? Selective surgery will happen... I am a 1005 Pro asking for help and getting assistance towards something that CAN be done on your own but with help WILL be effective... Soooo I realized that I have been constantly losing weight... some weeks 5-10 lbs... some weeks 2 lbs. total... but the fact of the matter is ... IM LOSING WEIGHT,... the next time I go to see my Primary I expect her to be really Happy with me and see that Im not a FAT ASS.. and will work hard to get the best results I can for changing my life around...
My eating habits have changed big time.... There were times when I would be starving at 11:30-12 at night and go to WAWA and get food... on occasion I could go through 2 bags of candy before I go to sleep without hesitation... and Almost Always had to have a 1/2 gallon of juice to go to sleep with... I know FAT ASS..... but now thats changed... Candy ... about as rate as me buying something for myself... Late night Hoagies and WAWA runs... almost never... and Juice.. well I drink OJ.. which isnt the best.. but not to go to sleep with.. I will trash a bottle of water or 25 milk at any given notice....I eat around 2x a day... and its not even glut-full.... I mean its days when I dont eat and feel ok....
As far as the gym goes... I had a break through.... The most inspiration I can get in regards to going to the gym and being faithful comes from Limited or no PorkChop*... and wanting to have a body that I have been dreaming of for my whole life... Now Im not talking model type body or 2% fat type body... Im talking the type of body where I can go into H&M.... Macy's... or Neiman Marcus as I do now... but shop in the clothing section and not the ACCESSORIES/SHOE DEPARTMENTS....
With that being said I went through a SERIOUS DROUGHT!! I mean I wasnt going to the gym to work out.. I was being active and playing ball[ which had its up and downs .. but my stamina was there] butt I wasnt in the gym working out.... so 10 went by without touching a weight or getting on a treadmill.. and I had enough,... Complacency was starting to set in...and I was becoming a FAT ASS again when it all made sense to me and came to me in 2 big swoop... LIKE BEING SMACKED BY MARQUAN... My Bestfriend/Girlfriend/fiance/wife/life partner came over and thats when it happened... The day after my Birthday I decided to Not visit EARTH anymore.... and stay on The Planet of Fitness.....
So I left her behind and got on board my Spaceship and went back...
I worked out on Thursday @12-2:30 got a great workout in... massage.. and had my breakthrough,... I normally can go 2-3 minutes straight on the tread running before gasping for air... but this day I did 10 mins.... I mean if Lebron can get a dunk... then run down the court... block a shot... then run back up for an Alley-OOp... then chase down a defender and get a steal.. then shoot a 3 without breathing once.... then I can start running and not give up as soon as my chest starts beating.... WELL I DID IT AND IT FELT GREAT.... I LOVE THIS NEW ME.... JUST CAN WAIT FOR THE REPROCUSSIONS TO SHOW....

PS... I love the Moon sooooo much because its Helping this STARR to shine!!!!!!

When Reality Sets In!!!!

So The first week on this Planet I was grooving..... gettting back at it and going hard and I felt and saw the improvements within myself... I mean I got compliments but you are your biggest critic... Well After my weekly Intervention that was last posted... the very thing I WROTE about became a REALITY... It was a night where I wanted to do certain things that I realized I couldnt and it got me upset... Normally in the Past I would eat my problems away and go straight to sleep.... but I chose to get up at 12am.... and go to THE PLANETARIUM... to get it in... Throughout my workout...at times I wanted to give up... and just be complacent with what I thought was sufficient goals.. But I pushed past that... especially with the thoughts of me not being able to do what I wanted and the mear thought that My ULTIMATE CHANGE... would make me feel sooooo good... I kicked the Planetariums ASS big time.... Unfortunately that was the last time I went..and that was over a week ago... The fortunate thing for me is that I went to the Gym to test out this new body.... I was breathing better ... had more energy and moved alot better.... I was sweating that good sweat... along with better joint movement and less pain... All in All I felt great and was content and figured that the week I took off was good enough to get me by and Let my bones re-coperate before I really get into this strict diet and regime..... Well I think I passed the test and Im ready... This Sunday Night will Mark the beginning stages of this caterpillar [ PURPLE CATERPILLAR THAT IS] going into my metamorphis... I would ask for prayers... or Hope and Empathy from you guys.. but Honestly I dont want it.... I know what I have to do and it will get done.... By this STARR... THE LONE STARR....

PS SOOOOO THANKFUL FOR THE MOON... BCUS WHEN IM FEELING DULL OR BLAND THE MOON GLOWS AND HELPS ME SHINE!!!!

First Intervention ...Why Exercise saves my life....

Soooo Ive got some issues that only one person can see.... and all of those emotions were pouring out of me... THAT PERSON... made me feel unwanted at times... and as if I was a stranger in MY Relationship.... I know im not the best when it comes to satisying her in all aspects of our Relationship especially The serious ones... well the important ones to her...[ intimacy, love-making, communication,and Sacrifices....] Well I told myself that I need to get back to giving myself 100% of the best me I can be... and Honestly Working Out and Becoming A Healthy person is doing that... You might not be able to see the progress now But its not just the outside or Physical thats changing... its my MENTAL STABILITY... I have matURED so fast over these 3 weeks that I look up to myself... Now when I go through my situations... to which I still do.. I'm more prepared to deal with these issues... and Honestly Im not depressed... having anxiety attacks.. or feeling down about myself no more because I realized that I have alot to offer... and That if it comes down to it I can maintain on my own![ not that I want to be alone .. no one does but if so be it... I CAN MANAGE]... For those out there who read my blogs,.. Know that for some strange reason I have EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE. about alot of issues/things/problems that people go through everyday.. and I can help... With that being said I will leave this Intervention with a Personal Qoute....
Love yourself for ALL your Flaws... and work on your Perfections... because YOU are your Own biggest critic.. and Nobody is Perfect... but we can strive for Excellence.... STARR*

The first week is over... Now lets get it in....

With The week ending... Here are a couple pics of the most current Progress... as well as me being me before I get ready to enter the Planet of Fitness.... This first week has prepared me to be able to withstand anything and to be able to sustain this diet and new lifestyle...
The food intake as well as my exercising and Mental exercise has evolved and I feel really confident that with or WITHOUT selective Surgery I will do fine in losing the weight that I placed as a goal and Marked down as the Changing Point of My Life...
Exercising and being in the weight room has become an Outlet for me in the Sense that I can forget about everything and de-compress...
Ive noticed that I am able to wear certain clothes that I put towards the back of my closet and didnt look twice at... On Friday when I went to an Interview ..one of those shirts was put on and I felt great... This progress has changed me sooooo much and All I can think about is my Prayers and Worship of the Lord... and my will power... bcus temptation lives in MY MIND... and My Mental Block is up...
Workout... .Workout.... Workout... thats my life...
Pics up after the jump!!!! First Progress Pics...

Day 5... Jan 6th..2010....

Soooo I have noticed that working out when you are dead azz tired has its up and downs.... For one it builds up your muscle faster and makes you more Proactive...
By working out when you are tired... you kick start your muscles and get them going right away... The other positive is that if you were tired throughout the entire day ..say from working an A shift... you will have the energy you need to get by the rest of the day.... Now to the downside.... The workout will take its effect on you after you take a good shower and finally sit down and rest your body.... MORE than Likely you will take a nap... its inevitable... The other downside is the feeling of ZOMBIE-ITIS... I mean Im all about eating healthy now and I know that eating after 9:30 is out the question but around 10:30-11pm... but its all about Muscle Confusion and health... right... RIGHT...

NOW on to the workout... I decided to workout my arms today.. and Boy did I...
Accompanied by My brother Sean aka Shiz aka Somebody's Daddy..
I started out with a good stretch.... and then worked my way over to the Calf raise machine... Got a good workout with that ,,, and I can see the improvements... [ LEBRON JAMES LEGS]... after that I took it to the Bench Press.... 3 sets almost killed me but I did the whole M.C. thing [ Muscle Confus.] and it worked...
I then went into my Push and Pull 3 sets.. followed that up with Calf raises... then finished up my arm workout with... Curls...Lap pulldown.. interior and exterior.. tricep reverse curls... and free weight curls w/ calf raises... after all of that I felt is though I had the arms of KIMBO SLICE... lol.. I felt good .. then I exercised my mind..and body by getting a massage and reading over some Notes.. as well as talkin SNEAKA talk with my Brother...
Today was a good day and I know that I will feel it in my arms Tommorrow when Im at work.. but hey its worth it...
Until the Next time....
Ps I love the MOON... bcus it brings this STARR to life....

Day 4.... Jan. 5th 2010

I GOT LOOSE!!!!!!!
In the gym today Progression was made something big.... Maybe it was because my yungin Ricky Ricardo... of FSA.... got his Space Shuttle ticket to the Planet of Fitness/Universe of Buffness... or maybe it was because of the stress building up in my life that I know Working out will take my mind off... Dont really Know but what I am certain of is " I GOT-IT Innnnnnnn!!!!!"
Treadmill Nothing.... took that in stride.. while dreaming of a better future... so the time flew...
Stretching was a piece of cake...
Legs,Calves... wasnt what I wanted but I can feel the burn and the growth.. guess this rust is finally off...
Arms/Chest and back NOTHING!!!! had people starring at cha boi... [ side note... this old head did the craziest Bench Press I ever seen... Marc once I learn that move... Im at your neck... But all in all I felt great leaving the gym... now this same night I went through it again around 3am.. If I didnt have to be at work by 6:30am I wouldve went back to the gym BUT!!!!!! U know it is what it is...

Ps I love the MOON... he my best friend... He always brings this STARR OUT!!!!!!

Day 3... Jan.3rd 2010....

Sooo today rather this morning around 12pm I went to the gym.... mind you I wanted to go last night but the Planets gymnasium is closed at 7pm and doesnt open until 7am... I was gonna go at like 2am in the morning to relieve stress[ New philosophy... when I am "FRUSTRATED" I need to workout instead of hoarding all the built up stress and emotions that led me to that point].. but back to our locally tuned program...
So when I went into the gym midday.. I had the mindset of getting in a good workout that would not only help me to decompress but also give me energy for my Nightshift...

I started with a good stretch... which made all the difference... .Then attacked... like D Wade circa 2009... I first hit the Bench Press' and impressed myself...
then Hit the Push and Pull/Lebron workout... that got me feeling great... I worked on my back, chest, legs, and biceps... and by the end of my session .. my legs felt great and my chest was tight along with my shoulders and kneecaps... Very Productive
until tommorow...

ps The moon is my best friend... He knows how to bring this STARR OUT!!!!!!

Day 2... Dec. 30th 2009... The last day of working out in 2009

I went into the GYM with the mindset that I would do better than I did and Push myself to the Point where as though I felt I was about 80% near where I used to be....
I attacked the Treadmill... and when I say attacked the TREADMILL I meant it... after getting a good sweat....[as if I was playing ball] I went to the bike to burn a quick 100 calories.. in 6 mins... yes 6 mins...I guess the Inspiration of Lebron playing on his Birthday and dropping 48 helped me to burn that FAT....After feeling good not only about the Cavs win but about my accomplishment I went to the Bench Press where I felt like a young Marcus Leblanc... Whatever type of Bench Press there was I did... and I conquered it like Jack Sparrow... I then went into my Faabstarr/Lebron James workout... and did my normal routine to which is already showing results... This day was a good day... Felt really good and now look forward to working out Harder Faster and Stronger in 2010....

Until the Next time... I will be with my best friend the MOON because he always brings this STARR out!!!!!

Day 1.... Dec. 29th 2009.... Entering the Planet of Fitnes...

On this day I entered the Planet of Fitness... and immediately got back to work...
It was difficult and hard... and at times I had doubts about whether or not I wanted to catch the next SPACESHIP... back to Earth... but I got over my initial fears... and did what I had to do...
Mind you in the past when I was a faithful member at a gym on EARTH... I was benching 200lbs... doing dead lift squats as easy as Lebron dancing on the court...Giving the Treadmill the best 45 mins of my life with/without water... and Murdering the Free Weights like An Orca whale murders Seals....
but as of Dec.29th 2009 I couldnt do SH@#... I was struggling to give the Treadmill 15 mins of my life... The Bench Press felt like I was sittin on my own CHEST!!! and Free Weights... hahaha more like Slave Weights.. because I couldnt lift my arms or legs....
It was rough but I made it through and I looked forward to the Next day in the gym....

Welcome to the Chronicles of a Starr!!!!

So I have decide to go about a NATURAL diet... and fight for not only my life but the happiness of my family as well... With this being said... I will document on all of my endeavors...trials ... tribulations ... accomplishments... and PROGRESS!

Those who know me will come to Realize and see another side of me... and for those who just stop by to view and see how I did it... I want you to know that it can happen for you and if I can go through it So can you....