Rather lose love than to move on Never knowing what it feel like
Short days, long nights By the phone, no call
Need a clear mind 'cause I been blind Got me goin' down that road
Heart made of stone Far away from home
lost on a Planet[ definition of Planet- a state of emotion for those who consider themselves to be aliens] where no one understands me or could understand my pain... a place where the problems or questions asked are answered by me... but when it comes to answering my own questions im lost... like the city of Atlantis... like ships and airplanes that travel through the Bermuda triangle... i mean there are theories/answers to the problems i go through as there are for these mysterious vanishings but non are concrete nor offer a TRUTH... .
I blog about my personal life with a shield around it because if i let you into my life whole heart-ly then you would experience my depressions and in turn be need more help than ever....
i havent blogged in a while because i was actually not feeling desolate and feeling good about myself.. .i mean im losing weight... alot of ppl who i truly love graduated from college... i live in a beautiful condo... and for the most part of the month i thought that " sacred path " was going in a positive direction.... but thats not the case...
the best way to explain my feelings are through outlets that keep me sane and help this facade stay intact MUSIC.... and basketball but bcus of this weather and my ongoing issue that compels me...[ i have the tendency to stop going as hard or i temporarily give up on my goals when i see progress or feel as tho' something good is finally occurring ] i havent gone to the courts to work on my game and defuse bcus of being lazy... plain and simple.....
right now Diary by Wale feat. the babe from Floetry is a memoir to my life.... in the song Wale is talking to a female... in this Aliens life... im talking to myself but not just myself.. .my Soul.. .the inner person in me that knows i deserve the best but settles for whatever... its bad when you would rather look forward to going to sleep and dreaming about ya inner being/created better self bcus of the life and endless possibilities it has.... well thats me everyday.. .things i wish i couldve done or had the chance to do... i actually do... but in my dreams... and dreams only... i love my life but the life i imagine and dream .. the life where these problems i face and issues that arise are answered with smirks and devious smiles.... but then i wake up and look in the mirror and face reality.... another song that plays in the background in the movie of my life ... is Drake Fall for your type.... its a very short and simple group of words that say so much... and once again not a particular female but to myself...
its hard to deal with sometimes and venting via blogspot is helpful along with music and bball but thats not always the case.... going to the PlanetOfFitness helps alot but these temp satisfactions only induce my pain and suffering ....
to help you understand better i feel like Jennifer Connelly as Janine Gaunders as well as Kevin Connolly also known as Connor Barry in " He's just not that into you! "... if u havent seen that movie then you wouldnt understand.. if u have then their roles are reciprocated in my life... rough times.... but as usual i will get through it....
On a brighter note... Pretty gyrls remix.. .with Cbreezy, fabo, and WALE... is the SHTI... and they all go in.....
This world isnt for me... honestly but until i go through my complete metamorphosis change im a prisoner trapped in a world of drones....
My bestfriend is the Moon.... my role model is a celebrity.... and my so-called brother is a NBA superstar who may have just tanked.. and the image i portray is sometimes confused with the make believe person i wish I was.... but guess what my bestfriend helps me to SHINE everynight... .right before i become a translucent depiction of a DREAM....
first memoir of my DIARY......
